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  • Writer's pictureWillow Raven

Giving Thanks

It's not Thanksgiving in Canada, but I missed Canadian Thanksgiving because I was in the US at the time, so let me co-opt the holiday so I can use it as an excuse to enjoy a Thanksgiving pizza later. But also so I can write a little bit about what I'm grateful for.

As some of you know, I was on stress leave from my office job in late Winter/early Spring. That was the catalyst for starting my OnlyFans - I had the time and the mental capacity to take it on and see if I could make a go of it. I truly flourished during that time - I had found an outlet for my creativity, a purpose for all the hours I spent online, and had found a way to celebrate my body (which I'm not always best friends with).

When I went back to the office, the stress and anxiety returned. I slept poorly, ate poorly, had constant panic attacks just looking at my inbox. I had to take a stress nap any time I had to answer an email, even a simple one just asking me to confirm something. I was an absolute wreck. I got a new job that I thought would be so much better but ended up being a highly toxic environment. I plunged back into an anxious depression. I had to increase my dosage of my meds because of it and was back to having constant panic attacks throughout the day, then spending my nights just staring at a wall, too anxious to even watch TV. I gained 20lbs because I couldn't bother cooking anymore because it involved using dishes, which I hadn't done in weeks. Worst of all, the thing that brought me joy - content creation - was falling by the wayside because I was so worn out from work that having to try to be sexy and dress up just wasn't in the cards. I felt like I was phoning it in, which made me feel even worse. I felt like I was letting myself and my subscribers down.

Finally, I took the leap and I left my job to do this full time. I am so eternally grateful that I've been able to do so. I don't think anyone knows just how much of a blessing this work has been to me - I've been able to get out of an unhealthy situation and slowly get myself out of the depression I was in, all because of your support and encouragement.

So here are just a small number of the things that sex work has brought me that I am so incredibly grateful for:

  • A creative outlet that I had been desperately craving and lacking

  • A renewed confidence in my body, even at my heaviest

  • Daily excitement about the work I get to do and feeling truly proud and enthusiastic about my work

  • New friendships and connections with amazing people I wouldn't have met otherwise

  • The ability to be my own boss and find a schedule and routine that works for me

  • The opportunity to take the time I need to focus on my mental health and become a happier, better person

  • The chance to talk about wrestling and music for work (how lucky am I!?)

  • The capacity to pay off my debt and have real savings for the first time in my life

There's so much more, but those are just a few of the things that I am constantly just so happy that your support allows me to experience. So thank you thank you thank you for being there for me, for supporting me, for letting me carve my own path and make a go of this.

Thank you.

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Nov 25, 2021

Brilliant in sight into your personal life, mental health and inspirational influence for others in the same situation thank you for being so open and honest x

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